Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Reflection of Motherhood


It is 10:30pm. Suddenly, I hear Sean screaming at the top of his lungs. I rush to his side to find him crying in his sleep. A nightmare. He arouses himself and looks around rattled as he attempts to gain back the familiarity of his reality. His eyes focus on me hovering quietly above him. He begins to pout. His pouts turn into whimpers. I pick him up and pat his back. "There, there," I tell him, "Mommy is here. Mommy and daddy are here. You are safe." I look over my shoulder to find his bottom lip still poking out. I nurse him for comfort. Although his is drowsy, he is somewhat ravenous at my breast. His eyes close and open as he fights sleep. His eyelids droop closer together. Soon, they meet. I kiss him on the cheek. In that moment, my eyes begin to swell with tears. "Damn hormones!" I think to myself. However, it was more than that. In this moment, my son is safe and secure in my arms. I thought about the day when my arms would no longer provide security. What if one day his father and I are not strong enough to protect him? What if he gets hurt? What if he is forgotten? Right now he is laying in my arms uncorrupted by the world. Uncorrupted by the people in this world. He is beautiful. I want this moment. I want this moment in time to last forever. I want this moment to last forever because some day soon this moment will be a memory among many others. It will make me smile and think back on the day when he was so little. It will be a mere reflection... A reflection of motherhood...

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